The Tridecadal Korean (astralblue) wrote,
The Tridecadal Korean
astralblue

How to Date a Korean Man

  1. KISS UP TO HIS MOTHER!  This is one of the most important rules to dating a Korean man.  His mother influences his life in a very real way, so be nice to her.  Or else she can make your life an eternal hell (no joking about this one).

  2. Try to be thin.  Almost every American woman that lives in Korea is FAT and UGLY.  Sorry girls but you are.  So try to stay as much as you can from this stereotype.

  3. Go the 2002 World Cup with your face painted like the Korean flag.

  4. Make fun of Japan OFTEN.

  5. Talk about how superior Tae Kwon Do is to every other martial art.

  6. LOVE HIS CAR.  It doesn't matter if it is a Porsche, or a fixed up Honda, you must to at least pretend that there isn't a funny smell coming from the seats.  Flattery really works.

  7. Learn to drink A LOT.  Soju is the most powerful shit that you can actually put into your system legally.  Don't be a weak drinker and Jack Daniels.  Trust me if you can drink at least 2 bottles you are fine.  Plus it will impress his friends.  DO NOT drink Soju unprepared, or you are going to be puking till next Thursday.

  8. Learn at least some of the language.  Learning Kamsa-ham needa or Anyoung will make him very happy.  Especially in restaurants, it will make him look good.  Learning how to say saranghae will make him feel extra special too!

  9. KIMCHI, love it or leave him.  It's a Korean staple.  Some Kimchi may burn your mouth off but you'll get used to it.  You have to realize that Korean food is spicy as hell and you gotta learn to love the feeling of your tongue melting into your throat.

  10. Go to Korea during New Years.  3 main reasons, first is FREE MONEY, second is free alcohol and third is FREE MONEY.

  11. Size doesn't matter, it's how you use it.  Just keep telling him that.

  12. Be a computer/math/science nerd.  He'll love you forever.

  13. Try not to say Don't go.  Roughly in Korean it means asshole.  AND really don't shout this at him if you are IN Korea.

  14. Pretend to love his singing voice.  Especially his drunk karaoke ballands, because he is singing them to you.  Pretend to be swept off your feet, he'll love that.

*chuckles*

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